He said what?

An amendment to the last post: it is officially getting to me.

Anyway. Last night I thought I'd check the website of a guy I used to date. I thought he was a pretty cool guy, and I still wonder what he's up to even though we haven't been on speaking terms since we broke up about a year and a half ago now. He uses his website to post creative projects--songs he's written, videos he's made, essays, that kind of thing. Last night I saw he had a new "album" of songs posted, and as I was giving it a listen, I discovered there was a song about me on there.

I'm not including a link for a few reasons. One of those is that he uses a few words that...well, they aren't a part of my vocabulary. He really isn't trying to remember things fondly. Nonetheless, when I first heard the song, I was kind of pleased in a weird way--I mean, has anyone ever written a song about you? Also, it...illuminated some of the things I've been wondering about.

Still, though, I seriously wanted to respond (and the chance to defend myself!). I thought about the whole thing as I walked to the store and bought some groceries. On my way back, I started writing my own little song.

Now, you have to understand, I'm not angry or spiteful. During everything with this kid I never wanted to say or do anything I would regret later on. And I held to that philosophy as I laid on my bed writing out lyrics. The product was kind of a mix of Jewel and Bright Eyes and as I sing through it I hear some nice guitar work in my mind. I also started working out a plan to get him to hear it as I ruminated over things--"If I got lots of people to link to his site from where it was posted..."

I don't actually play the guitar, though--at all. I thought about the people I knew who did and couldn't think of any one person who had both the ability to compose and play those intense solos I was imagining and the time/availability/willingness to work on the song--and who I would be comfortable doing it with ("No, see, I know you're having a hard time making all those words fit, but that's how I feel...").

So then I thought, "I know, I'll ask Conor Oberst to do it." He's a stranger (reduces awkwardness) and my song totally sounds like something he would do. And maybe that would solve the delivery problem, too. He has lots of songs about New York. He probably lives there. The guy-I-formerly-dated now lives in New Jersey--"Hey, Conor, that was awesome. Now would you mind just skipping over to Morristown and knocking on his door? Thanks, that would be great."