Letter from 28 May 2009

It will be a quick one this week.

We met again with the investigator from North Korea last night, Choi Hee sook. And we set a baptisimal date with her! I get worried when we talk about baptism. I worry people don't understand it, or that they aren't ready for it, or that they're not doing it for the right reasons. So I was worried when we were talking about it last night, and invited her to be baptized. But as we did, I had that same kind of feeling I did meeting with the group who got baptized and then left for Fiji. A good feeling. A feeling that surprized me. Choi Hee sook said she would work at changing things around at work so she could attend church, and she was excited when we talked about June 7th.

Wednesday was a good day. Kind of a strange one. We hadn't had investigators who were available during the day, and we spend time walking, riding the bus, and meeting with a member. A bit later we met with a woman other missionaries met and referred to us. We met on the street, and were going to walk to the church to do a lesson there, but she really struggled walking. So we just sat down on some steps near the sidewalk, and taught the first lesson like that. It wasn't the ideal situation--we kind of attracted attention. I don't think it was the most comfortable setting for her (I'm pretty much used to looking weird and standing out by now, so it wasn't strange at all for me). It ended up that two other people came up to us and requested Books of Mormon from us.

So things keep going.

I love you all, and hope you have a great week.

--Carrie

Letter from 20 May 2009

Hello!

It was kind of a long week. But I got through the first one in the new area with new companions...things should start speeding up from here.

I'm enjoying the threesome. It has a very different dynamic. When we visit people they are kind of surprized that there's three people, but at this point it isn't weird for us. That's kind of true for a lot of things about missionary work, though--it's kind of strange for other people, but not at all for us.

Like praying all the time. In the MTC, there was a Korean tutor we could meet with for thirty minutes at a time. She would always have us start with a prayer, which was strange to me then, but now...why not start with a prayer?

Also when we tell people we live together, or when we explain why we only have one cell phone number (we're always together), they are a little surprized. But that's what missionaries do!

I'm enjoying getting to know my companions, too. So my last compaion, Sister Bang, made sure I started using eye cream. Now Sister Lee (my companions are Sister Gubler and Sister Lee Yae Gi) told me I need to wash my feet every night before I go to bed. "Think about it," she said, "walking around all day with your feet in your stockings." So now I wash my feet at night.

Sister Lee also eats more Korean than Sister Bang did. Sister Lee said she needed rice at every meal...then she said, well, two out of three is okay. We ran out of rice this week. On Sunday had packed a small lunch that we ate in the kitchen at the church building after the meeting--crackers, hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, cookies Sister Gubler made. It was the second meal without rice--Sister Lee refused to eat.

We had a good dinner that night, though. The ward's bishop and his family invited the members over to his house for dinner. There were at least fifty people--but seating is a lot more efficient when you sit on the floor, I've noticed. We had an investigator who came--someone we're meeting with and teaching.

Her name is Choi Hee sook, and she's from North Korea. She is looking for the right church. I was currious about meeting with her. We taught a lesson last week, and she started talking about North Korea. I really wish I could have understood more of what she said. I really wish that. She talked about how people are so poor they don't have rice--they eat barley or corn. And she told us how no one knows about the Bible, about religion.

After meeting with her...before, in my mind, North Korea was just a political ananomly (sp?), some fluke in history and government. I don't know how to describe it...maybe like looking at those old Soviet propaganda posters. You know what's behind them isn't quite right, but they're foreign looking and far enough away from you personally and historically that you don't have to worry about it.

After the appointment though...I just got maybe a sliver more of understanding. There was also a member at the appointment with us. Choi Hee sook has been in South Korea for about nine years now, and the member looked at me and said, "you haven't seen your family for a few months, but can you imagine nine years?" And then I asked if you could send letters to North Korea, or email (because I really can't imagine nine years), and they just laughed. Of course you can't just send a letter to North Korea. And people don't have computers.

That night I thought about it...how even if it was a historical fluke the way I thought, what it comes down to is that it affects normal people every day. They are so close from here, but their lives are completely different. Members take us out to eat and overfeed us...and within a few hours they can't afford rice--or there isn't rice. All of a sudden it felt a lot more real. This is definately a learning experience, as a missionary. In a lot of different ways.

I hope you all have a wonderful week, and I send my love.

--Carrie

Letter from 13 May 2009

Transfer day!

Sister Bang and I got up at 4:45 this morning to head to Shindorin subway station. It's a central point in the mission, so on transfers, everyone moving meets at the same point. So this morning at 7:00 there was a heard of white shirted foreigners. Quite a sight.

I found out on Saturday that I would be moving, and so the last few days I've had some unexpected feelings. It is sad to say goodbye to people. It has been gratifying to realize I love them and appreciate them, and that maybe I mattered a little bit to them, too. And it's been exciting to think about the new experiences, especially new people, waiting for me in this area.

Yesterday was a good last day in Yeongdong. We had a district meeting, them met with Jeong Tae ja. She's middle-aged, we met her on the subway. She invites us over and cooks for us and talks, and we try to get a lesson in. She dilligently attends another church, and so considering that, and how long visits always ended up taking, we weren't sure if we should keep meeting with her.

During our visits, Sister Bang figured out Jeong Tae ja's husband knew a member of the church from Sister Bang's home town. And after awhile we found out...her husband had been baptized and joined our church when he was in college. This friend baptized him.

So it didn't feel like just chance that we were meeting with her, though she didn't seem to be really understanding what we were teaching--more like she would hear things she wanted to hear. But yesterday we met, and we read from the Book of Mormon together. We tried to explain again how it's not just a good book, but that if it's true the church is true (like her, a lot of people accept the Book of Mormon, they just don't see the implications).

She is really involved in her church, and Sister Bang and I weren't sure that her changing religions was really a possibility. But yesterday when we met, she started talking.... I have a really hard time understanding her when she speaks, so I had to check with Sister Bang after. But I heard right--she was saying that if it was right, she would come to our church.

I also got to see a few more church members yesterday who we had gotten to know, and a newer investigator we've been meeting with--Nam-Goong Yoo ran. She is learning nail art and has a dream to do it in America. And in the evening we had an appointment with Nam Gi yeon. She was actually really distressed that I was leaving. She's the investigator we would sing pop songs with during English time. She asked me which one had been my favorite, and we sang it together. I promised I would never forget her. And I really don't think I can.

And then that night I finished packing like mad--stopped folding things even, just throwing them in. So now unpacking is a mess. I think because people rely so heavily on public transportation here, shipping things is really inexpensive. I packed up two good-sized boxes that Sister Bang arranged to get sent (total: about 14,000 won, so about $14) and somehow still filled up my two suitcases. I will have to eliminate things. Especially since a wheel broke on one of the suitcases. It got really heavy at that point.

My new area is Anyang stake. We cover five wards--I'm not excited about that part of it! At least I'm a little more keyed in at this point, so getting to know people and areas will be a bit easier this time around, I think.

I'm in a threesome. Sister Gubbler is from California. She has three transfers left, so has lots of experience! She is Sister Lee Yae gi's trainer. Lee Yae gi is from Daejeon (in the southern part of Korea), and this is her second transfer.

This transfer will definately have a very different dynamic. I'm a "co-senior" companion with Sister Gubbler. In Korea, age is really important. The American "age group" of "peers" and "friends" gets a heirarchy. You are "friend" (for lack of a better translation)--which means you were born in the same year--or an "older sister/brother" or a "younger sister/brother." Sister Bang explained to me that we would never be called "friends" in Korean, since she is older than me. We would be a "friendly older sister" and I would be a "friendly younger sister" (again, for lack of a better translation). And Sister Bang and I were friends in the English sense of the word, but at the same time she really was my older sister ("oni") in the Korean sense. And different than just a junior and senior companion. She would have me sit down on the subway if there was just one seat. She would tell me things I needed to change. Made sure I took medicine if I was sick. Made sure my bag wasn't too heavy. That kind of thing.

And when I was dragging the suitcase with the broken wheel, I realized I didn't have an "oni" anymore! The threesome feels right, though. It will be different, but it will be good. A friend from the MTC wrote me awhile ago. She was in a threesome and said she actually really liked it--there wasn't so much guessing about what the other person was feeling/thinking. Also, I'm seeing that I will be able to take more responsibility now without my "oni." So for several reasons, I think it will be good. An adventure, too.

Much love,

Carrie

Letter from 6 May 2009

Hello!

The weather is warming up fast here. Spring brought yellow and white forcithia bushes, cherry blossoms and magnolia trees all over, and now as they are leafing out there are bright pink and purple flowered bushes blooming all over the city. It is getting hot faster this year than normal, though, and the monsoon season is reportedly coming early--maybe the beginning of June. And after monsoon season, Sister Bang tells me, is when summer--hot and humid, from what I hear--officially starts.

The warm weather makes me think of all sorts of happy memories--summer has good associations, with school letting out, family vacations, and also thinking about this time last year making arrangements, going to interviews, really getting ready to go on a mission.

Also, I caught a cold this week, and oddly, that has brought up unexpected memories, too. Like the comfort of going to the doctor's office with my mom when I was little. And also, all of a sudden Korea smells like it did when I first came--I had a cold when I came...the two must be connected. Interesting, the things that bring up memories.

And interesting, too, that I have a few memories to look back on in Korea, as a missionary. All of a sudden I'm towards the middle of my mission, not the beginning! I still feel like I'm just figuring things out, though!

People are becoming more important, too. We are still meeting with Nam Gi Yeon. We sing pop songs with sad lyrics together when we do English practice. When we do gospel lessons, she summarizes bit by bit the things she's read in the Book of Mormon, and asks questions about the House of Israel and Moses. Yesterday when we met, she asked for help reading some letters from nearly 30 years ago. When she was a school girl, her and a friend met two foreigners on the subway--one from France, one from Switzerland. They were traveling the world, and the one from Switzerland send her some postcards, a couple of letters. And then they lost touch, but she kept the letters.

And we meet three times a week with Kim Mi Yeong, but just twice this week because Monday was Children's Day--a "red day," so kids had it off from school, adults off from work. It was fun to see families out and about together. It's just a day to make kids happy.

Kim Mi Yeong asks about how to actually use the atonement. She wants to know if God lives, about Jesus Christ. As we meet, I try, I hope she sees that with prayer, with reading in the scriptures, attending church--as she searches out and learns, she will come to know. She will come to feel God's existance, and Christ's love. That's how all of us do it.

I am seeing more and more that knowing things, that the Church, the gospel, is a process, not a somewhere where you arrive, and then you're set. We have a whole lifetime--for a reason, I think. We need time. It's step by step, and each step comes with greater joy, with a greater ability to feel peace. And that's why it matters.

I love you all, and I hope you have a wonderful week.

--Carrie

Letter from 29 April 2009

Hello!

It was another good week. I feel like I learned a lot this week.

Like how being capable is a process. For a long time I had the idea that if I just decided to do things right, I could do them all right--so I guess I thought if I just concentrated a little harder, I could be perfect. Maybe a couple of months ago the sisters in the mission got together on preparation day for lunch, and the two leaving soon were asked to give a few words of wisdom. One of them said that on her mission, she has learned that God doesn't expect immediate perfection, just immediate progression. And that kind of sums up what I've started to realize.

And I am seeing that we're all just works in progress. I am a better missionary that I was when this began--and a better person, I hope. But I haven't "arrived." I don't think we ever do--thank heavens. There are always other lessons, other challenges--so things won't get boring! And we've been given a whole lifetime to keep working at it.

And one other big lesson this week. Before I cam on my mission, I had felt the joy that comes from obedience and following the Lord--that He really does direct us to the paths that will make us happiest. I tell people often, when we talk about prayer and getting answers and direction, about how I chose a university. I didn't particularly want to go to BYU. But I prayed about where I should go, and it felt right. And I when I followed that prompting, I really did find joy. I found good friends, there are good classes for my major, I had opportunities to do research. When we follow the Lord, he leads us to be more happy.

Joy comes from following, but I think it comes from service, too. And sacrifice. I don't feel like I am doing a lot as a missionary. I don't speak much Korean, and I can't tell you which way is north when we're looking for houses for appointments. I misunderstand people's questions and have a hard time remembering the names of ward members at church. But this week...the members we had taught who were just baptized, came to church and one had brought a friend, and we met another at home...nothing in particular, except realizing I loved them, I wanted the best for them, and that there is joy in that, too.

Have a good week,

Carrie