18 Nov 2008
Ah! How can I write about this week in the ninteen minutes and seven seconds I have left till I get booted off MyLDSMail?!
The 14-year-old Sister Jensen and I had been communicating with over chats and email who wants to get baptized told his parents that this week, and was absolutely crushed by their reaction. And Sister Jensen was crushed by not being able to do anything about it. After, she said maybe this is what make missions hard--people finding truth and wanting it, but being kept from it. And I'll add my own speculation: people making decisions that will make them unhappy. And you want them to be happy. And you love them.
I have thought about that this week. About love. There was the 14-year-old, and then some people in our district had some down days; Sister Jensen and I swung apart for a moment before swinging back together. My assignment as a coordinating sister ended this week, and when they told me I was done, I felt such a huge relief.
I don't know if I am successfully tying this all together--that caring matters so much, but it is hard. But it matters. I would do pretty much anything in my power for any of those people--the 14-year-old, or Sister Jensen, or the people in my district. And I try to. But there are things they have to do for themselves. Or let God do.
I think this is strangely related to a grand awakening this week: that I don't have to be perfect to be a missionary. On Sunday, we had our exit interviews with the branch presidency, where we were to teach something for five minutes in Korean. After I did mine, I came out convinced there was no way I could do this. I don't speak Korean. And so many other limitations.
Then this week, one of my teacher's supervisor came in and showed some mission pictures and told about what he learned. And then I heard a clip of a recorded talk someone was playing in the residence hall, and a story about a man who "didn't have a car, but he had feet. And faith." And then it was warm enough to go outside for our gym period, and somewhere in there I realized I don't have to do it perfectly. I just have to try, and work, and talk to people. And I think I can do that. But there are things I can't do for myself. But it will be okay. God isn't asking me to do those things--and if he is, he'll help.
So I think I'm ready.
I love you all!!
Ah! How can I write about this week in the ninteen minutes and seven seconds I have left till I get booted off MyLDSMail?!
The 14-year-old Sister Jensen and I had been communicating with over chats and email who wants to get baptized told his parents that this week, and was absolutely crushed by their reaction. And Sister Jensen was crushed by not being able to do anything about it. After, she said maybe this is what make missions hard--people finding truth and wanting it, but being kept from it. And I'll add my own speculation: people making decisions that will make them unhappy. And you want them to be happy. And you love them.
I have thought about that this week. About love. There was the 14-year-old, and then some people in our district had some down days; Sister Jensen and I swung apart for a moment before swinging back together. My assignment as a coordinating sister ended this week, and when they told me I was done, I felt such a huge relief.
I don't know if I am successfully tying this all together--that caring matters so much, but it is hard. But it matters. I would do pretty much anything in my power for any of those people--the 14-year-old, or Sister Jensen, or the people in my district. And I try to. But there are things they have to do for themselves. Or let God do.
I think this is strangely related to a grand awakening this week: that I don't have to be perfect to be a missionary. On Sunday, we had our exit interviews with the branch presidency, where we were to teach something for five minutes in Korean. After I did mine, I came out convinced there was no way I could do this. I don't speak Korean. And so many other limitations.
Then this week, one of my teacher's supervisor came in and showed some mission pictures and told about what he learned. And then I heard a clip of a recorded talk someone was playing in the residence hall, and a story about a man who "didn't have a car, but he had feet. And faith." And then it was warm enough to go outside for our gym period, and somewhere in there I realized I don't have to do it perfectly. I just have to try, and work, and talk to people. And I think I can do that. But there are things I can't do for myself. But it will be okay. God isn't asking me to do those things--and if he is, he'll help.
So I think I'm ready.
I love you all!!
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